it's all fun and games (til somebody falls)
by bonkaiqueen
Summary: Bonnie is one to hold a grudge, but never for too long / No one holds a candle to Bonnie Bennett. Bonkai. Two-shot.
1. there is thunder in our hearts

**Background:** Lily blackmails the Salvatores and Bonnie into bringing back her "family." Jo asks Bonnie to bring Kai back as well, and Bonnie disagrees, but in 1903, something changes her mind.

* * *

There is something heartbreakingly beautiful about watching Kai Parker cry.

He is trapped inside a clumsily-built cage, hands bound and mouth gagged. His face is a bloody mess of blue and black, brown and red. His throat - just ripped flesh. He thinks he is alone: she knows it by the way he doesn't conceal the sobs tearing out of his chest. He doesn't hold back, angrily jerking his body and letting out a muffled growl.

Bonnie watches incredulously as a lone tear slips silently down his cheek and falls onto his leg, darkening the fabric of his tattered pants. He turns slightly, twisting his back, and winces. She thinks back to the week before: stabbing the blade into him, twisting it, loving that she was causing him pain. Undoubtedly, she had caused him much more pain than originally intended. And now, they are even. She has nothing else to hold against him.

Bonnie is one to hold a grudge, but never for too long.

Maybe that is why she feels guilt. Regret. Maybe that is why she wants to help him now. God, he is still sobbing, head hung - hope has flew out of his Pandora's box. In that moment it is easy, so easy. And she could do it. Run to him, get him the hell out of there.

So easy to leave these stupid Heretics behind. After all, they had been the ones to do this.

She feels sick looking at this - she knows what it is like to be used by vampires. How is this any different? Bonnie steps out in front of Kai hesitantly. He squints at her, then at his surroundings. The first thing he says isn't very assuring.

"Am I dead?" he mumbles through the cloth that covers his mouth.

She almost laughs. _(But what part of this is funny?)_ "We don't have much time. I'm going to help you, okay?" She mutters under her breath and his restraints disappear.

"Okay, Bonnie, whatever you say." Kai smiles lazily at her, and flexes his fingers. "One question: if I'm in Hell, why are you here?"

"I don't have time to explain, we need to leave right now - "

Her fingers encircle his wrist, and even though the skin is raw and bloody, she doesn't mind. Neither does he. But as soon as they reach their home, back in the present, she lets go.

"Bonnie?" Kai asks. "Thank you."

"Look, I didn't do it for you. It was for Jo, okay?" She sighs and crosses her arms. "I owed her one."

He regards her carefully. "You _hate_ me. You could have said no."

She avoids his gaze.

"You brought me back because you felt bad...about what you did."

Her silence confirms it.

Kai laughs suddenly. The sound washes over her like the winter's icy rain, chilling her to the bone. It is contagious and that is what scares her.

There is something breathtakingly beautiful about hearing him laugh.

* * *

A/N: Title - _Running Up That Hill, Placebo_

Eh, I don't really like how this turned out but whatever. It was irritating, just sitting there in my drafts, so. Please review and give me your thoughts!


	2. it's too late to apologize

**Background:** Set during 6x21 (the wedding episode). Bonnie has saved Kai from 1903 at Jo's request. Now he wants nothing else but to apologize.

 **Title:** _Apologize, OneRepublic_

* * *

Kai supposes Elena Gilbert is pretty. She has a nice, heart-shaped face and her smile. Wow. There is also Caroline, whom he has met only minutes earlier, with her sharp eyes and even shaper attitude.

"You hurt my friends," she had told him, glaring. "We're giving you a second chance, but don't think for a second that I won't rip your throat out if you so much as come close to us. Understand?" He understood.

Now, looking around, he sees lots of pretty girls. Jo looks nice, in her wedding dress, looking like the happiest woman on Earth. Oh, _but her._ Jesus, she is infinitely more beautiful than the bride. She is more beautiful than anyone could ever hope to be.

No one holds a candle to Bonnie Bennett.

He finds himself walking towards where she stands before even realizing it. She looks up and his heart nearly stops. "H-Hey." He wants to slap himself.

Bonnie doesn't say anything, just waits silently. The look in her eyes isn't helping, so he jumps on the first thing that makes sense.

"I wanted to thank you. For rescuing me in 1903," he clarifies quietly, swallowing.

"I did it because I owed Jo. Not for you," she replies coldly.

"But you still did it." He cocks his head.

"I still haven't forgiven you, Kai. Don't go around thinking we're all buddy-buddy now. Okay?" Bonnie smiles a bit sadly, a bit tiredly. "Just forget about it." She turns around and begins rearranging the flowers at the neighbouring table.

x

Bonnie doesn't even begin to relax until the vows have been said, the bride has been kissed, and the cake is cut.

"Okay, guys," she says finally. "Now I'll have a glass."

"Yes! Take two! Take seven," giggles Caroline, who is the equivalent of drunk for a vampire. She pushes over a glass of champagne. "You seriously need to loosen up, Bonnie."

"I _am._ "

"Oh, yeah? Prove it." Elena slides into the closest seat, glowing. She grabs the two girls' wrists and pulls them up. "Come dance with me."

She leads them onto the dance floor, where the music intensifies. People are dancing shamelessly to the beat of the song playing, hands raised with occasional yells of joy. "To Jo and Alaric!" someone yells and the sound of glasses clinking and yells resonate in Bonnie's ears.

She wants nothing more than to get out of there. For everything to quiet down just a little bit. A once, it is like her wish has been granted. The fast beat segues seamlessly into something slower - a ballad.

Everyone begins to pair up - first Jo and Alaric, then Elena and Damon, Stefan and Caroline, even Tyler and Liv - so Bonnie smiles and steps back. She starts to make her way to the restroom, just to freshen up, but there is someone in her way.

Kai sees the look on her face. She is happy for her friends, but there's something else, hidden. Something no one notices easily. But he is watching very carefully. He notices it. The longing.

So he makes his move. Holding out a hand, he smiles. "Dance with me." It is not exactly a demand, but Bonnie is smart enough to know when someone is offering you something they will not take a 'no' to.

So dance, they do.

"Giving in, little witch?" he teases.

"It would have been rude to refuse." She avoids his eyes.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He winks, and spins her.

She gasps, startled, and collides hard into his chest. When they pull away from each other, he moves one hand to her waist, another subtlely entwining her fingers with his. They sway, back and forth, and for a minute, it's just them. There's nothing else, no one else. And this is it, this is his chance, he needs to take it.

"I'm not all bad, Bonnie," he whispers into her ear, before he dips her. When he pulls her back up, she isn't smiling. Instead, there is a furious expression twisting her features. Like she hates herself for giving in so easily.

"That doesn't mean that you're all good either," she says bluntly. "Just stay away from me." His hand is still firmly holding hers, so she pulls away, scowling.

She's gone before he even can understand.

x

"I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me."

"And I thought you knew I don't really care what you tell me." Kai smiles slightly, stopping two feet in front of Bonnie. The wedding is over and the two are the last to leave. Bonnie had spent the whole rest of the evening avoiding him, but now he had her.

"I am literally one second away from putting you six feet under." Bonnie raises a hand, tensing.

"Stop - don't you get it?" Kai holds his own hands up. "I'm not going to hurt you. _I swear._ "

"Give me one good reason why I should believe you." She scoffs. "You've lied to me before."

"Look it's all different now," he throws at her, sounding oh, so desperate. "And I can't really tell you why, because you wouldn't understand. And you can say that it's because of the merge, that these feelings aren't real, that they belong to Luke. But Luke didn't give two shits about you. And now he's dead."

She shakes her head. "You're not making any sense."

"Guilt, empathy - those emotions. They did belong to Luke. But I'm me. I get to decide what to do with them." His eyes bore into hers. "Who to feel them for."

Bonnie scoffs again. "You're lying."

"You don't get it, Bonnie. You may never get it. But you need to know it." Kai seizes her wrists, but she can tell that he's being careful now. He wouldn't dare hurt her.

"And maybe I don't get it myself. I mean, I've never - I don't - you're the first time I've ever felt bad for something I've done. That has to count for something, right?" He licks his lips and slides hi fingers down until he is grasping her palms.

Bonnie sees a red flag go up, but she stays frozen where she is, not even jerking at his touch. Maybe it's because he is the first person she's ever heard this kind of confession from. Maybe it's because she's the first person he's ever made this confession to.

It doesn't matter, anyway.

Because then, she can't be mad anymore. She's been strong for too long. Too much. She is holding onto anger and betrayal and grief, and in a single moment, she lets it all go.

She is just Bonnie Bennett. A girl who lost her Grams and her parents too young. A girl who had to grow up way too fast. A girl who's been hurt and betrayed and stabbed in the back too many times to count.

Kai's words blur into static; he keeps talking, not understanding that she cannot hear a single word he says. Not because she is ignoring him, but because there is a huge rush in her ears, her cheeks are flushing. For a second, it is just the warm hand covering hers and the fading light of the sun in her eyes and -

She is crying. He can't believe it. He really can't. "No. Wait, Bon - shit, shit, shit. Bonnie? Please don't cry - " Kai wipes at her cheeks frantically. " _Shit._ I'm sorry. I'll stop bothering you, Bon, just don't - "

She sobs, and it's the most heartbreaking sound he's ever heard, and right then and there, his heart shatters into a million tiny pieces. At least that's what it feels like. And he shouldn't care that she is crying or that her eyes are blankly staring past his. But he does.

She reaches out and suddenly he is holding her.

It is strange to say the least. He cannot recall ever being this close to someone before, except when there is blood and a rush of power and "Any last words?" This is different. This is holding someone to comfort them. _Maybe once, when Jo and I were kids,_ Kai supposes.

The feeling he gets with Bonnie is revoltingly different. Why is he even thinking about his sister right now? It is strangely intimate. She isn't sobbing anymore, just breathing - in, out, in, out. Kai is suddenly very aware of his body pressed against hers. Too close - it is hard to think straight, hard to breathe right. He eases away from her carefully.

I'm sorry," he breathes, glancing at her to gauge her reaction. He gets nothing. Her tear stained cheeks are evident, yet she shows no emotion. She is as empty as a robot, her arms hanging limply at her side.

"Bonnie!" Kai says loudly.

She blinks and focuses on him. "What?" she says sharply, and winces at her own voice. She repeats the word, lowering her voice.

"I'm sorry," he says, catching her gaze and nodding at her. "You don't have to believe me, but I am. And if it's want you want..." Kai hesitates. He isn't used to putting another person's desires before his. "I'll leave you alone."

And there it is. Everything she's ever wanted to hear from him. And she could say yes. She could agree wholeheartedly and never have to deal with Malachai Parker again.

 _I wanted to apologize for anything I did that hurt you._

 _Do you know why I'm here? Because my guilt keeps me up at night._

 _Please, believe me, I've changed._

 _I'm sorry. You don't have to believe me, but I am._

There are only two options here, and both are equally damning. Because now she sees him more clearly, she begins to think he is telling the truth.

Bonnie can either walk out of here, never having to see his face again. She can forget about his scorching gaze and his stupid, flirty comments, and him. Or she can act upon the tiniest instinct inside of her that tells her he is telling the truth. He will not hurt her. He cares about her. She can trust him.

And god, she wants to so badly.

"Kai - " she begins.

"Don't hate me," Kai rushes his words, "but I have to do this at least once." There is a hard look in his eyes and a second before he moves, she realizes his intention. He cups her face in his hands, and before she can even protest, brings his lips to hers hard. They collide somewhere in between. He kisses her like she's the last person on Earth. He kisses her like he loves her. And then, she is kissing him too.

As fast as they came together, they break apart, breathing ragged. Bonnie doesn't know what to do; she just smooths back her hair and waits.

"I'm sorry, Bon," Kai says automatically, the nickname slipping from his lips. He corrects himself, smiling sadly. "Bonnie."

He turns to go, and then there is a hand on his arm, and he twists back around, and Bonnie Bennett is kissing him. "I had to do that at least once," she tells him before walking away.


End file.
